My Birth Story

I felt so inspired to share the story of how I brought my little man into the world because this marks the last month that my baby is a baby - he'll be a toddler soon and I'm just floored at how fast all this went. I had a c-section and a recent article came out where it was talking about the reason why women who have had a c-section are brave and it made me feel happy that it was giving a shining light on something that isn't easy to go through. I've read so many stories of how heart broken women have been because their "birth plan" didn't go as "planned" and I think there is a harsh stigma especially with the "all natural" crowd that is put on women who have c-sections that they took the easy way out or they let someone else dictate how their birth ended.

C-sections are very rarely the first choice for any mother but it is by far not the easiest however I wouldn't have changed the way anything happen because it ended with me walking out with a healthy baby.

Throughout my pregnancy I didn't have this beautiful fantasy of how I was going to bring my child into the world. My thought was that I walking out of the hospital with a healthy baby regardless of how he got here. I wasn't going to go all natural because I'm not about feeling pain - I didn't want to remember screaming and making my hubs feel bad with obscenities. Hands down to the ladies that want to heman through that - no thank you!

When my OB asked me if I had a birthing plan - I flat out told him no. I explained to him that as a person who generally plans out everything, I didn't feel like I could plan this. Giving birth is not something you plan (in my opinion), I have never given birth before so I don't know what I'm going to want to do or how things operate and worse of all if something happens your birth plan becomes just a piece of scrap paper leaving you disappointed. To my surprise, my OB said I love that and when I asked him why he said because his goal is to get the baby out and if the baby is in trouble the birth plan goes out the window. This made me feel better, I wasn't going to be lectured! My plan was to have no plan - if I wanted to get up I would, if I wanted a ball I would ask - I was leaving it for the moment.

My water broke on it's own, not like the galloons they show on tv - mine was a trickle it fully broke when I got in the hospital bed. Thanks for that by the way, nothing like the feeling of completely peeing yourself and unable to stop. Not long after my water had really broken did my nurse seem a little concerned - she had told me the baby's heart would drop every now and then. I was only dilated 1 cm and the plan for pitocin to increase my labor wasn't an option after a few hours in labor. We saw that every time I had a contraction the baby's heart would drop.  I had nurses turning me for one side to the other to try and make the baby better and nothing was helping. Luckily I was laboring through the night so that I could sleep - but even though I wasn't dilated very far contractions hurt! I mean they hurt and usually they make you wait until you are 4 cm before they give you the epidural - by 4 in the morning I could not take it - I was in labor for 12 hours and still was not progressing. I wanted relief and I wanted it now - my poor OB must have hated me because my nurses were calling him throughout the night updating on my progress and he finally gave the ok to give me the epidural. I love whoever made the epidural - it's wonderful. Big D was a trooper before hand, helping me to the bathroom and rubbing my back and he kept me laughing when we were awake.

By 9am my doctor had arrived and after 18 long hours of labor with very little progression we had to make the decision, the baby's heart was under the pressure of going up and down the entire labor and the OB was worried. I wanted my baby out - now! Big D got dressed in his scrubs which was hilarious and now we waited. The waiting is the worse, when they were finally ready for me Big D had to stay behind until they were ready to get him so I went in alone. They transferred me from the bed to the table and it dawned on me that as everyone is getting everything ready and prepping me - I'm full on nude from the stomach down! Like hello nice to meet you - this is my whooha. I did try to make myself feel better and tell everyone how I know how nude I was but the epidural made me feel like I was wearing pants, it's weird but because you're so numb you feel covered!

When you're lying there alone and the realization of what is about to happen hits me I started to get scared. I think as a reaction I started to involuntarily shake, I wanted my baby to be ok, I wanted to make it through this surgery, I wanted my husband - for the short time I was alone it felt like a long time. I was almost worried that people were going to forget to get my husband but right when I was about to ask for him - he showed up. We were ready. The nurse asked if we knew what we were having and we told her no, she asked Big D if he would like to be the one to tell me what the baby was and he was more than happy to. If felt like time moved slow and quick at the same time, I didn't feel anything they were doing, I just waited and waited and waited - I waited to hear my baby cry.

Finally the doctor said the head was out and Big D jumped up to look over the curtain and take pictures. It was clear that the cord was wrapped around his neck which was the reason for the heart rate dropping. And then, he was out I looked at Big D and he said it was a boy and then my son cried. It was the best sound I had ever heard and his little face appeared over the curtain and he was beautiful and slimy. Everything and everyone melted away and all I could do was stare at him. We made it through.

My baby and Big D were taken back to our room so they could clean him up while I was left to be stitched and sewed back together so I was alone again. This time it was longer and I wanted to be with my new family, I wanted to hold my son. When I finally got to the room, he was nice and clean wrapped in a blanket and his beautiful chubby face peaked out and I was in love.

I wasn't disappointed in having a c-section and I know it may be likely I'll have another but I got what I wanted, a healthy baby. Recovery did take longer and there were things I was limited too but there was nothing I could do to change how it went and that's the way it was meant to be.

A year later the faint scar that graces my lower abdomen is just a reminder of the best thing that has come into our lives.


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